Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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