Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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