Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
