the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
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EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
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it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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