the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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