are you so shy because you have an std?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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