She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
