Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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