Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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