I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
