Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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