Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
