Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
