I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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