I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
