Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
