Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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