i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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