just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
