My room smells like vodka and shame
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
