found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
