I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
