As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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