Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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