You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
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I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
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I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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