let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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