Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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