I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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