does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize