I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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