I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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