does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
