So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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