i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
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Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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