my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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