You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
