So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
