Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
