Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
