You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
