? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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