i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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