Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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