The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
