I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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