she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
