dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Randomize
