She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
