My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
