i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
