Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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