I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
