Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
