OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He felt like a one man threesome
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
