just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
