We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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