I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
