I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
