In the future we'll all be gay
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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